At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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