Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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