We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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