is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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