i would punch a child for taco bell
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
