his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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