I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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