BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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