is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
