Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
