My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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