yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
