apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
