This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
