i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
