yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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