...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
