Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
