Porn is love you can see.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
