Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
