Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
