i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
