...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
