My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
