My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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