Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
