I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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