Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize