Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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