It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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