Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My liver just had a heart attack.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
