what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
