my sisters under your porch take her home
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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