I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
