I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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