We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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