Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
