put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
