The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
