doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
