I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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