I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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