lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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