Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
