Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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