I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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