If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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