Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
