His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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