im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
