i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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